Drowning
by Sunrise and Sunset
Summary: Seto Kaiba is lonely and unwanted. He decides to end his life. See inside of his true self, and understand. (five words. Angst, Character Death and Poetry)


Sunrise: ::reads story:: This is a really angsty fic.  
  
Sunset: Yes, that is probably because I wrote it. Instead of you.  
  
Sunrise: Well, it si actually pretty good, so I'm posting it for people to read (and hopefully review)  
  
Sunset: Anyway, niether of us own YuGiOh, but we wish we did.  
  
Sunrise: So don't come crying to us if you want to know own it.  
  
Sunset: CUZ' WE DON'T KNOW!  
  
Notice: This story contains suicide, and lots an' lots of angst. So if you don't like it don't read it. AND IF YOU FLAME ME, EVEN AFTER THIS WARNING, YOU. ARE. AN. IDIOT!  
  
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~Seto's POV~  
  
I'm drowning  
  
In the cold  
  
In the loneliness  
  
Without light  
  
Without love  
  
I'm drowning without you  
  
I'm tired. Did you know that? I am so sick and tired of this life. I have nothing here and yet I stay. And truthfully, I don't know why.  
  
I know that sounds insane. I really do. Thousands of times I've said this. And each time I wonder if I'm still sane. And each time I get the same result. I am not sane, and in fact, I was never sane at all. I have always been crazy, right under my mask of coldness, lies insanity.  
  
The sun is gone  
  
No comfort awaits  
  
Death is a friend  
  
And yet I'm here  
  
But not for long  
  
For years now, I have stumbled blindly onward. I have always hoped that things would clear up, and yet it never happens. It is times like this that I wonder why I still hope at all.  
  
I surround myself in a blanket of loneliness. I keep away from people. I don't want to hurt them, like I end up hurting everyone I ever meet. So instead I keep them away. I shun them, ignore their attempts at friendship. So they go away. They go away, just like my shattered heart did. Just like my family.  
  
Cuz' I'm drowning  
  
In the cold  
  
In the loneliness  
  
Without light  
  
Without love  
  
I'm drowning without you  
  
So here I sit. Writing all of this stuff down, I don't know why.  
  
No one has ever loved me. Did you know that too? No one loves me, and I'm all alone in a cold, dark world. Sure, I have my brother, but he deserves better, and I know that. Since nobody wants me, I guess I'll leave then. But not on any train or bus or airplane. Because even if I left in that sense, no one would love me still.  
  
Is there peace in death  
  
Is there release  
  
I think there is  
  
Release from this hell  
  
I will let go  
  
No, I'm not leaving like you would. I'm leaving on the boat down river Styx. I will welcome the warm embrace of death. Blackness. Because if I stay here too much longer I will drown in the sadness of it all. I will fall under the cold waters of hatred and ice will seal up the entrance to the world.  
  
I choose to die. I know that seems really horrible and that I should be locked up before I hurt myself. But do you know what? You don't know me. Nobody knows me.  
  
Cuz' I'm drowning  
  
In the cold  
  
In the loneliness  
  
Without light  
  
Without love  
  
I'm drowning without you  
  
If I had just one person to love me, maybe I wouldn't be this way. Maybe I wouldn't crave death the way that I do. But that doesn't matter now, because I can't change the past. The past is dead and gone and there is nothing I can do about it.  
  
Besides, I'm past "what-ifs" and "maybes" because it doesn't matter. They didn't happen, and we can't go back and make them happen. Even if we wanted too.  
  
Tell me  
  
Why did you leave  
  
You left me to die  
  
You left when I needed you  
  
Why  
  
You know what else? I don't smile anymore either. In fact, I haven't smiled in seven years. I think that I've forgotten how too. But it's not like I have any need to smile. Because I haven't had anything to smile about for the last seven years. So it doesn't really matter does it?  
  
And yet, I still wonder. If someone was here, and they didn't leave like everyone else did, maybe I would be able to smile. Maybe they could teach me. But that can't happen now. Because I've made my decision. I'm still leaving, and no one will miss me.  
  
I'm drowning  
  
In the cold  
  
In the loneliness  
  
Without light  
  
Without love  
  
I'm drowning without you  
  
I can see the Angel of Death now. She is pretty, in her pure white robes. And her hair that is the color of sunlight. She stretches her hand out to me. She will be my friend when I am cold and lonely. She pulls me close and hugs me like a mother would a child.  
  
And she tells me that I am home.  
  
I'm sealed in my sorrow  
  
I'm dying  
  
I see black  
  
And it is welcoming  
  
I'm dying  
  
I am content now. You needn't worry for me. I am home at last. No one cares about what I was, or what I did, they all love me. I feel warm at last. I can't feel the horrible cold of loneliness. Do not cry for me, I am finally free of the chains of life.  
  
I am free.  
  
Cuz' I'm drowning  
  
In the cold  
  
In the loneliness  
  
Without light  
  
Without love  
  
I'm drowning without you  
  
~Mokuba's POV~  
  
My big brother died today. He drowned himself in Domino Lake. But I do not feel sorry. And that isn't because I hated him either. In fact, I loved him with all of my heart. He hated living, it was a burden. I am happy, he is in a better place now.  
  
Before today I didn't understand that. I would have cried my eyes out. I might have even tried to join him in death. But he left me one thing that made it all clear. It was nothing big. Not money, not a tape of his will, It was a poem. A poem. And it was clear to me.  
  
I'm drowning  
  
In the cold  
  
In the loneliness  
  
Without light  
  
Without love  
  
I'm drowning without you  
  
The sun is gone  
  
No comfort awaits  
  
Death is a friend  
  
And yet I'm here  
  
But not for long  
  
Cuz' I'm drowning  
  
In the cold  
  
In the loneliness  
  
Without light  
  
Without love  
  
I'm drowning without you  
  
Is there peace in death  
  
Is there release  
  
I think there is  
  
Release from this hell  
  
I will let go  
  
Cuz' I'm drowning  
  
In the cold  
  
In the loneliness  
  
Without light  
  
Without love  
  
I'm drowning without you  
  
Tell me  
  
Why did you leave  
  
You left me to die  
  
You left when I needed you  
  
Why  
  
I'm drowning  
  
In the cold  
  
In the loneliness  
  
Without light  
  
Without love  
  
I'm drowning without you  
  
I'm sealed in my sorrow  
  
I'm dying  
  
I see black  
  
And it is welcoming  
  
I'm dying  
  
Cuz' I'm drowning  
  
In the cold  
  
In the loneliness  
  
Without light  
  
Without love  
  
I'm drowning without you  
  
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Sunrise: Geez O.O that was super-duper angsty  
  
Sunset: ::nods:: Yes, it was.  
  
Sunrise: ::blinks:: O.O  
  
Sunset: Anyway, Read and Review.tell us how good we are! ^-^ 


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